Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Are MAGA the "useful idiots" for the radical-right billionaires like Charles Koch and Elon Musk?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I actually pay taxes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What do you love doing for fun?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy bullshit

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

How can one learn to talk frankly?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Is it overstating to say that AI is on a par with the invention of fire, electricity, flight, or the Internet in its ability to transform our lives?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I can count

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can read

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Any straight men had a gay experience in the past? What was it and how did you feel?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Do women wear undies under leggings?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability